I Couldn't Let You Drown
by Patricia Sage
Summary: My take on MagnusPOV of the scene in CoA where Alec falls off the boat. Malec! *heart*


**Author's Note: I fleebin' love this scene in the book. I never wanted it to end. :) Enjoy.**

**MagnusPOV**

I am exhausted. It feels like my magic is being drained; the constant pull of my supply is what is keeping the wards down and keeping those insufferable Shadowhunters alive on that stupid ship in the distance. They don't know how much I'm putting into their stupid cause. Even a High Warlock gets tired after long magic usage. And, this whole thing doesn't involve me, anyway! Okay, maybe Valentine would kill all Downworlders if he got his way, but _still_.

It is so tempting to relieve the weight of the stress and let all those ungrateful Shadowhunters die. Just a snap of my fingers, a stopping of the flow of magic, and they would all be done for. I have lived so much longer than any of them would ever live. I have seen more than they could ever imagine. Trivial, this battle is trivial to me. But...not every Nephilim on that boat is trivial in my eyes. Most of them, yes. But not a certain blue-eyed sweetheart.

_Alec Lightwood_. Oh, I have fallen hard for that tentatively caring boy. I'd tried dating other Shadowhunters before Alec, but they were always insufferable, much like that Jace character. Alec is different. I am drawn to him. He doesn't even realize how much I sacrifice for him, already. And, I have a feeling that I'm going to sacrifice a lot more for him in the time to come. He doesn't realize how special he is. It's because of him, and only him, that I'm sitting on this stupid floating truck (why couldn't we have taken a motorboat or something?) and stripping down the stupid wards on stupid Valentine's stupid ship.

I have to admit, though, that the battle going on is quite exciting. I'm always amazed at how Shadowhunters can paint the runes on them to enhance their abilities beyond mundane standards. Watching them dance around demons and kill them easily is entrancing. Angels vs demons-the epic battle of the ages. Yes, the Nephilim were losing quite a lot of their number as well, but it actually appeared that they were winning.

With a small force of will, I could see the fight from as close up as I want to, as if adjusting dials on binoculars. _Another_ spell, I know, but this one doesn't take much since I'm directing all of my magic towards that stupid ship anyways. I'm keeping an eye on people I mildly care about such as Lucian Graymark and Isabelle Lightwood. But, most of my attention is focused on Alec.

He is protective by nature and that comes to light every time he fights near people he cares about. He throws himself in front of them with abandon, as if by sheer force of will he can keep them safe.

Hm; there goes the Inquisitor. Sacrificed herself for Jace...interesting. I don't want to be mean, but she probably won't be missed all that much. I watch as Alec checks that Jace is alright. The way he looks at the blonde and the way he touches him would make me incredibly jealous if I hadn't experienced the way he looks at me and touches me; it's more than this little infatuation with Jace and he just has to realize that.

Another demon approaches my blue-eyed darling. Like every single time an enemy has come to him, my chest clenches in apprehension. This could be the one. All I can do is watch and hope that he will defeat this one like he has defeated the others. The demon steps toward Jace...

"NO!" I don't even recognize the voice as my own; I don't notice the pain in my head as I rapidly sit up in the truck seat. All I can see is Alec being bodily thrown by the monstrous creature, sliding across the slippery ground on that _stupid_ ship and falling off the edge, plummeting down to the water below.

I watch in absolute, sickening horror as he hits the fiercely crashing dark waves. I know what I have to do. When Lucian had come to me and summoned me for this _stupid_ escapade, I had been uncomfortable with floating on my own in a vulnerable state. I wouldn't admit it to anybody but myself, but I've hated water since my mother's husband had tried to drown me in the creek when I was young. In all my years, I'm still terrified of being submerged in water; I feel it suffocating me from everywhere.

But, all those thoughts and fears for myself fly out of my mind like a dove freed from a cage. They are replaced with thoughts and fears for Alec. All I can see is Alec hitting the water; Alec drowning in the murky water. Among the mudled panic in my brain, one thought came through in clarity:

_I couldn't let Alec Lightwood drown._

So, in a completely compulsive and reckless action, I jump into the water. Panic floods into me like the liquid soaking my clothes and, for a terrifying moment, I think I'm going to die. Then, Alec's face appears behind my fearfully closed eyes and I feel calm. Casting spells randomly and impulsively, I find him. It's so hard keeping the wards down on that _stupid_ ship while looking for Alec and also casting a spell for me to breathe underwater.

The world stops for a moment as I see him. He's suspended in the water, his dark hair moving like an eratic halo around his pale face that seems to glow in the smothered darkness of the deep. His eyes are closed and he's not moving; bubbles escape his lips. I need to get him out of there. With a burst of strength born from adrenaline and fear, I propel myself to his side and wrap my arms around his surprisingly thin waist. I pull him towards the flickering light above us until we reach the surface. I splutter, not from need of air, but of panic once again. The truck isn't far and I use the rest of my strength to tow Alec there.

I heave him into the truck box and then follow. I take back my earlier comment on this truck being stupid. At this moment, it is the most amazing thing I've seen in a long time. Despite my relief of being on a solid surface once again, Alec is still not breathing. I don't have enough magic for a spell-I still have to keep the wards down on that _stupid_ ship-so I perform artificial resperation the manual way.

Finally, Alec starts to cough up that retched water and takes shuddering breaths. He sounds in pain, but all I care about is that he's breathing. Leaning tiredly against the side of the truck box, I watch as he opens his eyes and takes in his surroundings. His pupils are a little dilated; he might have a concussion.

His eyes meet mine and he starts showering me with questions and demands. I'm too worn out to humor him in any way and I just tell him what I'm going through. To my surprise, Alec holds out his long, pale, shaking hands to me; he's offering me to take his strength to keep myself going.

I want to say no. I _should_ say no; he's just a boy who's not in the best shape right now and doesn't know what he's offering. If I take his strength, he'll be completely vulnurable. I tell him so. He replies with, "No, I won't. You'll be with me, won't you?" I'm struck dumb. Not only is he offering me his strength, but he also is giving me his blind trust. I don't know what other choice I have.

So, as my answer, I take his cold, callosed hands in mine and gently start to syphon out some of his strength. In order for the opperation to go smoothly, both parties have to be completely willing to do it. Even though Alec is, the sensation of somebody drawing away his strength is foreign and uncomfortable. I feel, as well as hear, him when he gasps. He's opening his being to me and I can feel some of his emotions, as well. Pain, trust, panic, love; I feel it all. It's a strangely exhilaration mixture and I'll never forget that insight into Alec's mind.

When I've taken the minimum of what I need, I cut off the flow and Alec slumps into my arms. He's alright, just drained. I hold him close, relishing in my newfound strength and the feeling of holding him near me. I dry us both in an effort to stop his violent shivering.

Leaning against the side of the truck box, I tuck him securely next to me and look down at him, kissing his temple fondly. His brilliant blue eyes meet mine and he smiles a little. "Is this how you feel when you've used up a lot of magic?" He asks. His voice is a little raspy from nearly drowning. Poor darling.

"Almost."

"Hm." He leans his face against my shoulder and I love how comfortable and natural this feels. I tilt his chin up gently with one of my fingers and kiss him softly.

He's asleep when the boat explodes and I just hold him close to me, my fingers gently combing through his hair as the truck rocks from the waves. Usually, the angry waves and dark water thrashing about would frighten me, but with Alec at my side I feel like we could take on the world.

**Author's Second Note: Okay really bad ending. Oh well. :P REVIEW!**

**Take care.**  
><strong>-Patricia Sage<strong>


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